Scholastic article Ten TipsDon't believe everything you hear in the teacher's lounge. Most parent-teacher conferences are cordial, productive, and informative. If meetings do happen to go awry, what matters is getting back on track. Use these ten tips to steer clear of common pitfalls.
- Do some research first. Send home a Looking Forward to Our Conference Letter a couple of weeks before parent conferences, asking parents what their main concerns and questions are. Staple their responses directly to your conference notes and use them to guide your conference preparation. from letter: The areas I/we are most interested in discussing include.... Also: do you have additional questions or comments?
- Use your established assessment system. Review any checklists or notes you've been using for ongoing assessment. Decide whether to have the checklist with you at the conference or use it to create a conference note form. The checklist may be unnecessarily specific for the conference, or you may not want parents to see your raw notes. If either of these is the case, create a Parent Conference Form.
- Organize your notes into simple categories on a Parent Conference Form. Include only the most vital and relevant standards in each curriculum area and the simplest and most useful of ratings categories — for example, Areas of Strength, Areas of Concern, and Goals. Using a grid or following a simple conference note form allows you to notice quickly whether your presentation will give the overall picture you want to convey. For example, will you sound more negative than you intend to? Do you need to find more to add to the strengths category?
- Ask your students how they think they're doing. Although as the teacher you have a broad and sophisticated perspective on student progress, asking students in upper elementary and middle school to reflect on their own work can be very useful. They are very likely to provide additional insights into areas of growth or challenge, or draw your attention to something you've missed.
- Be prepared with samples of student work. Parents should leave a conference with a clear idea and concrete examples of what's going well and what areas need work. While it's not a good idea to overwhelm parents with a whole semester's worth of written work, well-chosen samples in a portfolio will support and clarify your salient notes.
- Always begin with what the child does well. Without exception, human beings are more receptive to constructive criticism — even bad news — when our hard work, honest attempts, and natural talents are noticed and remarked upon. Parents identify with their children and, in many cases, experienced similar academic or social circumstances themselves when they were young. It's vitally important to them that you see their children as individuals and that you like them. In some cases, you may have to search high and low for a success story. It's worth it if you want to be heard when you recommend an evaluation, a change in reading group, or a tutor.
- Only say what you know. Don't feel you have to report on every area of the curriculum. Get an idea of what each family's priorities are (by sending home a notice before conference time), and discuss what seems most relevant. It's perfectly acceptable to say, "I need to do a little research on that, and I'll get back to you," if a parent asks you something you are not prepared to answer. This response, if stated confidently and unapologetically, is perfectly professional, and certainly is preferable to making something up on the spot. If a parent is disrespectful or unpleasant, don't feel you have to defend yourself. Maintain your composure by acknowledging the comment without engaging the parent unnecessarily. "Hmm. You find the homework is too easy. I'll make a note of that. Can you give me a brief example of what you mean?" Write the feedback on your notes, and then immediately regain control of the conference by returning to your agenda and your prepared materials.
- Avoid jargon. Using overwrought professional vocabulary or this month's educational buzzword actually makes your dialogue with parents less substantial. Instead of using catchphrases or technical terms, describe what you mean or demonstrate it with examples or concrete materials. For instance, instead of using the term "miscue" when discussing a student's reading, try "When reading aloud, Irene frequently substitutes one work for another similar-looking word. For example, on this page, she read 'understandable' instead of 'unmanageable.'" Make your written reports concise and jargon-free as well.
- Show that you know the child by having an anecdote ready to share. Parents deeply appreciate your knowledge of their child, above and beyond the child's academic abilities. A brief story about a comment made in a class meeting, a journal entry, or a social interaction can personalize a conference and make it more satisfying for parents.
- Anticipate frequently asked questions. For new teachers, as well as teachers who are new to a school or to a grade level, it's helpful to consult more experienced teachers to find out what parents typically ask about. Frequently, parents at particular grade levels may be preoccupied with testing, progress in reading, the transition to middle school, and other matters. While you don't want these concerns to overwhelm your agenda, you should be prepared to respond to them.
This article was adapted from Your Best Year Yet! A Guide to Purposeful Planning & Effective Classroom Organization by Shoshana Wolfe (© 2006, Scholastic).
Making the Most of Parent-Teacher Conferences
Parent-teacher conferences offer great opportunities to deepen your working relationship with parents. As you highlight their child's strengths, discuss academic or social concerns, and share information about child development, parents come to see you as an ally and themselves as true partners in their child's education. A little thinking and planning will help you make the most of these great opportunities.
Tips for Success
Make an outline and gather materials. A plan for how you'll divide up the time will help you stay on track. Here's a general outline for a 30-minute conference:
- 5 minutes: Opening conversation
- 10 minutes: Report on academic progress and concerns
- 10 minutes: Report on social progress and concerns
- 5 minutes: Summing up
However, you may need to put your plan aside if a parent raises an urgent issue that you weren't expecting. Remember that you can always schedule another conference!
In addition to writing an outline, you'll want to make notes for topics you want to cover and have at hand student work, assessment results, information on child development, and anything else you want to share with parents.
Offer conversation starters. Put parents (and yourself) at ease with a question or two: "What did Sam like about school last year?," "What does Tina like to do at home?," or "What are some things you'd like her to accomplish this year?"
Invite parents to share their thoughts. As experts on their children, parents can share valuable insights. And they'll appreciate your respectful recognition of their role in helping their children.
Highlight the positives. Recognize a child's strengths before discussing her struggles. You'll give parents some perspective while encouraging them to work productively with you.
Address just one or two concerns. Listing too many problems can make parents (and their children) feel defeated. Mention that you'd like to help the student with several things, but for now you'd like to concentrate on just one or two.
Let parents know if you need thinking time. It's perfectly OK to tell parents you want to think through what they've said, observe their children for a bit, consult others, or read up on an issue they've raised.
Be Prepared for Surprises
Parents sometimes surprise us with negative or personal questions or comments: "My son's teacher bullied him all last year." "My daughter's lazy. She never tries at anything." "My husband doesn't care about Mark. He never comes to these conferences." "My wife's divorcing me. Things are falling apart."
What can you do in such an instance?
- Steer the conversation back to positives: "I'm sorry things didn't go well for Adam last year. But because our time is limited, I'd like to focus on what we can accomplish this year if we work together."
- Focus on the child: "You seem to be going through some tough stuff right now. I wonder if that's taking Jasmine's attention away from school. What do you think we might do to help her concentrate?"
- Listen with empathy: "That must be hard" or "You've been through a lot" can help parents feel heard without injecting your own opinion or advice.
- Offer to get help: "You seem to be wondering what to do next. Our school counselor may have some ideas for you."
Follow Up and Follow Through
After each parent-teacher conference, send a note thanking parents for sharing time with you. If you offered to find resources, gather information, and so forth, make sure you do so—and share the results with parents.
Each parent-teacher conference can be a powerful occasion for meaningful communication with families. Thinking ahead and following some simple guidelines will help ensure that conferences are positive and productive for everyone.
