What inclusive leadership "sounds like"

 Check out this article from HBR- 

https://hbr.org/2020/11/what-inclusive-leaders-sounds-like?utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter_weekly&utm_campaign=weeklyhotlist_not_activesubs&deliveryName=DM107768

10 Things to Say to Someone Thinking about Suicide

As part of the departmental focus on mental health of teens, here are two practical "what to say" articles:

10 Things to Say to Someone Thinking of Suicide (link)

I'd encourage you to read the entire article which explains why these are good things to say.  But here's the list:

1. “I’m so glad you told me that you’re thinking of suicide.”
2. “I’m sad you’re hurting like this.”
3. “What’s going on that makes you want to die?”
4. “When do you think you’ll act on your suicidal thoughts?”
5. “What ways do you think of killing yourself?”
6. “Do you have access to a gun?”
7. “Help is available.”
8. “What can I do to help?"
9. “I care about you, and I would be so sad if you died by suicide.”  (*be careful with this one)
10. “I hope you’ll keep talking to me about your thoughts of suicide.”

10 Things NOT to Say to someone Thinking of Suicide (link)

1. “How could you think of suicide? Your life’s not that bad.” 

2. “Don’t you know I would be devastated if you killed yourself? How could you think of hurting me like that?” 

3. “Suicide is selfish.” 

4. “Suicide is cowardly.” 

5. “You don’t mean that. You don’t really want to die.” 

6. “You have so much to live for.”

7. “Things could be worse.” 

8. “Other people have problems worse than you and they don’t want to die.” 

9. “Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.” 

10. “You will go to hell if you die by suicide.”  

Give Students New Things to Love

David Brooks, in an article called "Students Learn From People They Love" writes about how we teach attitudes towards our subjects:

“…a key job of a school is to give students new things to love — an exciting field of study, new friends. It reminded us that what teachers really teach is themselves — their contagious passion for their subjects and students. It reminded us that children learn from people they love, and that love in this context means willing the good of another, and offering active care for the whole person.”

Read article here

Reminds me of Fred Rogers

"If adults can show what they love in front of kids, there’ll be some child who says, ‘I’d like to be like that!’ or ‘I’d like to do that!’” said Fred Rogers. He told a story about a sculptor in a nursery school he was working in when he was getting his master’s degree in child development:

"There was a man who would come every week to sculpt in front of the kids. The director said, “I don’t want you to teach sculpting, I want you to do what you do and love it in front of the children.” During that year, clay was never used more imaginatively, before or after…. A great gift of any adult to a child, it seems to me, is to love what you do in front of the child. I mean, if you love to bicycle, if you love to repair things, do that in front of the children. Let them catch the attitude that that’s fun. Because you know, attitudes are caught, not taught"

From Marshall Memo 816

Troubling Data on Youth Suicide

            In her New York Times Personal Health column, Jane Brody cites statistics on the increase in suicides and suicide attempts among young people. From 2007 to 2017, the suicide rate among 10-to-24-year-olds increased by 56 percent, making it the second-leading cause of death in this age group (after accidents). Suicide attempts have quadrupled over the last six years, a statistic that is probably an undercount. “We’re in the middle of a full-blown mental health crisis for adolescents and young adults,” says psychologist/author Jean Twenge (San Diego State University). “The evidence is strong and consistent both for symptoms and behavior.”

Because of the shame generally associated with suicide, families often shroud the issue in secrecy, and there isn’t the kind of national mobilization that would normally accompany this kind of data spike. “We invest heavily in crisis care,” says John Ackerman, a suicide prevention expert at Nationwide Children’s Hospital in Ohio, “which is the most expensive and least effective means of preventing suicide.” The key, he says, is identifying vulnerable youth as early as elementary school, helping them cope with stress, and teaching them what to do if they have a crisis. This can be as simple as regularly checking in on young people’s emotional status. “It’s not putting ideas in their heads to ask directly whether they’ve had thoughts of suicide or dying,” says Ackerman. “That doesn’t increase their risk. Rather, it’s relieving. You actually reduce the risk if you help kids talk through these difficult issues.”

What is causing the increase in suicidal ideation, attempts, and deaths? Experts point to several factors:

• Social media and communication patterns – “Kids never disconnect,” says Henry Spiller, director of the Central Ohio Poison Center. “They go to bed with their smartphones. It may be cyberbullying. It may be envy.” Twenge agrees: “There’s less face-to-face time spent with friends. It’s now the norm to sit home Saturday night on Instagram. Who’s popular and who’s not is now quantifiable by how many people are following you… There’s a lot of negativity, competition, and jockeying for status…”

• School-based interactions – Suicide data for young people track the academic year – September to December, January to May – which is not true of adults. This suggests that negative social interactions in and around school are the areas that educators, families, and health care professionals have to monitor.

• Sleep – Teens’ quantity and quality of sleep can affected by going to bed late and night-time social media activity. “The brain can’t slow down and relax,” says Twenge. Kids shouldn’t look at the blue light of their devices less than an hour before bedtime. Parents can set limits, such as setting their kids’ phones to shut down at 9: 00 p.m.

• Information and means – Kids with smartphones have unfiltered access to Internet sites that tell them how to harm themselves. And some homes give young people unguarded access to firearms and potentially lethal medications and other substances.

• Sometimes a perfect storm – School, social, and family problems can converge to create a crisis. “Ultimately,” says Ackerman, “it’s a combination of economic, social, and technological factors that come together along with family and school issues, and kids are less equipped to tackle these problems.”

“Time to Sound the Alarm Over Youth Suicide” by Jane Brody in The New York Times, December 3, 2019, https://nyti.ms/2Po5dCF